Embarking on a journey of spiritual awakening is not just a personal evolution—it’s a profound, transformative experience that reshapes your understanding of life. It demands courage, perseverance, and a willingness to confront and own your challenges. It requires you to dive deep into the very core of your being and face your struggles head-on, sometimes confronting what can feel like your own personal hell.
In the early stages of this journey, you may find yourself questioning everything you once believed to be true. I know I did. I began to question religion, the educational system, and every belief I held about life itself. And I mean everything. My reality as I knew it began to fall apart. I felt utterly alone in this transformation. I felt like I had lost my mind. In many ways, I did. It was as though the very fabric of my life was unraveling like that string on your shirt that you tug at, only to have the whole shirt fall apart. It was disorienting and frightening. My reality was shifting—just like the world of The Matrix, where perception is fluid. In that moment, I had taken the blue pill, and there was no turning back.
The emotional and mental fluctuations during this process can be overwhelming. You experience moments of deep despair, followed by brief highs where your consciousness expands. Each time you hit a low point, you learn more, and your baseline rises. It doesn’t feel like progress in the moment, but it is. You’re growing—whether you can see it or not. For me, there were times I lost my sense of purpose, questioning everything I was doing and whether I even had a reason to keep going. At that point, I thought I was lost. I was questioning who I even was.
A critical part of this awakening journey is understanding the concept of subconscious lack and subconscious abundance—two mindsets that deeply influence the way we experience life.
I talked to you before about subconscious lack. It was at this moment i began to see just how much of a lack mindset I was in.
I felt the grip of this mindset when I struggled just to keep my head above water. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to provide for my children, and the constant anxiety was overwhelming.
I felt everyone would see me as a failure. Later to realize this is my own paradigm and the only way people will see me that way is if I am surrounded by other people living in lack mindsets unknowingly. I began to try to tell my story, only later to realize I was coming across as if I had a poor mentality. All I was seeking was validation. Also something not needed, as I now know I do not need validation, and that God has already Affirmed me, which is far greater.
It was if something had suddenly shifted. One day, my 8-year-old looked at me and said, “Mom, we had to go through this to teach us what it means to be humble.” In that moment, everything clicked. The affirmation I needed was brought to light through him. I was no longer consumed with thoughts of money. I regained my power, even if just for a brief moment. And then, the next dive came, and I had to hold my breath again—learning to hang on and pushing myself to stay under longer with every challenge.
With this mindset, I began to understand that resources are not limited and that opportunities are abundant. I started to notice that coincidences are not random. By adopting an abundance mindset, I began to reprogram my subconscious beliefs and create a more fulfilling, prosperous life. As I started adopting this perspective, something miraculous happened.... things began to fall into place. When I needed something, it appeared. At least, that’s how it seemed.
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